In Date Everything, the title says it all. You can date everything—well, almost everything. Not just physical items, but abstract ideas too. If you've ever wanted to confront Existential Dread head-on, this game is your chance. But for the most part, you'll be interacting—with objects, sometimes even flirting with them.

One such object is your toilet. As unsanitary as that might sound, Jean Loo Pissoir is quite the outspoken character, unafraid to speak his mind—through rap, or at least what he considers rap. Here's everything you need to know about him and how to out-rap him at his own game.

Where To Find Jean Loo

Like most Dateables in the game, Jean Loo becomes accessible once you gain the ability to explore freely. There are two bathrooms in the game, meaning there are two places where Jean Loo can be found. To activate him, simply interact with the toilet or any related item like toilet paper or a plunger.

Once activated, Jean Loo will, for reasons unknown, speak in French. He also has a passion for rapping. A rather unusual trait for a toilet. And not just any kind of rap—he’s into "crap," which he insists is a far superior form of rap than regular rap, though he never explains why.

Beating Each Of Jean Loo's Rap Battles

After your initial encounter, Jean Loo decides to teach you the fundamentals of rapping through a series of rap battles. At first, these serve as tutorials to help you improve your skills, but the final one is a full-on battle. Pay attention and take notes—you’ll need every bit of knowledge.

Rap Battle #1

During the first rap battle, Jean Loo introduces you to the ballcock, a device that enables you to respond during the rap sessions. Since rhythm, flow, and tone matter, you must actually speak during these battles. Choose wisely and don’t make a fool of yourself.

Rap Battle #2

This round focuses on word emphasis and maintaining proper syllable counts. Rapping is part science, part art, and this lesson tests your ability to keep up with the style. This one is more challenging than the first, though only requires you to answer four questions.

Rap Battle #3

The last rap battle is the toughest and functions differently from the others. There isn't just one correct answer—however, the better options require high SPECS stats. Jean Loo does warn you beforehand. For safety, aim for around 80 in each SPECS stat so you have access to all dialogue choices.

How To Change Your Relationship Status With Jean Loo

Much like other Dateables, Jean Loo has three possible endings, though they’re primarily determined by your performance in the rap battles rather than how you personally treated him. Keep that in mind when trying to win his favor.

Love

To earn Jean Loo's love, you must prove your rapping skills. You must pass all his lessons and win the final rap battle, while selecting flirtatious responses throughout. Perfection isn’t required, but strong performance is essential.

Bear in mind that while flirting helps, winning the battle is more important. Choose the dialogue options that win the rap battle, not just the ones that charm him. Any extra flirting is optional.

Friends

Being friends with Jean Loo follows a similar path to being lovers. If you qualify for the love ending but choose friendship instead, that’s acceptable. Otherwise, your relationship depends on your performance in the rap battles. If you did decently well but didn’t fully impress him, he’ll still consider you a fellow rapper.

Hate

Earning Jean Loo’s hatred takes more than just picking rude options. He may be made of porcelain, but he's not easily offended. Instead, fail every rap battle, pick the wrong answers, and mock his way of life. The best way to make him despise you is to disrespect his favorite thing—rapping.

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